


Sharing a Space (In My Heart)

by CheekyBrunette



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Canon Compliant, M/M, Nishinoya is a first year and Asahi is a second year, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 20:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8259208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheekyBrunette/pseuds/CheekyBrunette
Summary: "It wasn’t often that Nishinoya felt scared. The way his soulmate was feeling... Nishinoya could only compare it to the moment before his mom accidentally ran a red light and a mini van t-boned their sedan. It was like he could see everything happening in slow motion; there was something huge coming towards him and it was going to hurt.But unlike the car accident, there was no impact. The anxiety just kept building and building."Soulmate AU where you can feel your soulmate's emotions, and Nishinoya is worried that his soulmate is in serious danger.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, I just kind of posted this in a hurry for Nishinoya's birthday, so ah... sorry for any mistakes.

Nishinoya was born at 6:08 p.m.

At 6:08 on his sixteenth birthday, he was out for yakiniku with the volleyball team. Daichi had taken charge of the meat. He poked at a piece of pork, and flames shot up from the grill: that was when Nishinoya first felt it.

He clutched at his chest as his lungs froze still. His throat started to close up. Nishinoya’s eyes widened, and he grabbed onto Tanaka’s forearm, his knuckles white.

The feeling left almost as quickly as it had came, but it was enough to leave Nishinoya feeling shaken. Meanwhile, Tanaka was wincing at him. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked.

Nishinoya nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, I just... Holy shit.”

Tanaka looked confused for a moment, but his face lit up a moment later. He looked down at his watch and cheered. “Hey, it’s 6:08!” he exclaimed, getting the attention of the full table. “Our little Yū-chan is finally a man!”

The whole team erupted into cheers. Tanaka shook Nishinoya’s shoulder excitedly, but Nishinoya could only manage a weak smile.

“Well?” Suga prompted as the noise died down. “Can you feel them yet? Is anything happening?”

Nishinoya scrunched his nose. “Not right now,” he admitted. “Everything seems fine. But at first, it was... It was like... I mean...” Nishinoya struggled for the right words.

To begin with, feeling someone _else_ was _weird_. His heart felt squirmy –like it couldn’t decide if it should speed up or slow down- and Nishinoya hoped that his own emotions wouldn’t always be in conflict with his soulmate’s. He knew it was supposed to take some adjusting. At first it would be confusing and awkward, but it would feel natural soon enough.

What was really confusing was the feeling that had first hit him. He couldn’t even place it. The closest he had ever come to the feeling was when he hit the front brakes on his bicycle too hard and he flipped over his handlebars. He had been terrified the moment before he hit the pavement, and afterwards he had been covered in oozing scabs for weeks.

It had been scary.

Nishinoya scratched his head. “I think for a second they were really scared?” he said, uncertain. “So that was weird. But otherwise, I think they’re okay.” He didn’t mention the way his heart still felt like it was trying to speed itself up.

Suga hummed. “Maybe you startled each other,” he said. “I freak Daichi out all the time.”

Daichi pouted. “I can’t help it! Every time _you’re_ worried, _I’m_ worried. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

Suga rolled his eyes, but a fond smile snuck up his face. “But it’s like... I’m anxious because I did something stupid like dropped my pencil or trip up the stairs. I’m, like... nervous for a half second – _tops_ \- and then I can feel you getting all overprotective.”

Daichi frowned a little further, and Suga kissed it off his face. Nishinoya crinkled his nose. He knew he’d probably be twice as physical with his own soulmate, but it was still gross to see his upperclassmen kissing.

Fortunately, Asahi distracted him. “How scared were they? Are they okay?” he asked.

“Who knows?” Nishinoya replied, already losing interest. “I’m just gonna eat some meat and hopefully help cheer them up,” he said, already resolving to be the mood-setter in the relationship.

“Great idea!” Tanaka cheered, using his chopsticks to pile Nishinoya’s plate high with half-cooked meat. Nishinoya crammed three pieces into his mouth at once to try to keep up.

Asahi took one look at his stuffed face and snorted. “That’s one way to handle it, I guess,” he agreed.

Nishinoya struggled to swallow and flashed Asahi a grin. “I’m full of great ideas,” he promised, his smile growing when Asahi hid a laugh behind one hand. He turned away, satisfied. Nishinoya punched the table. “Now hurry up and make more meat, Daichi! This is my birthday celebration, and I’m hungry!”

* * *

Eating meat hadn’t helped the war between his sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. _Nothing_ had. Nishinoya had been poised between fight or flight instincts for _days._

His math teacher was up at the front of the room, telling the class something about sine and cosine functions, but Nishinoya could hardly pay attention. He rubbed at his chest.

At first, Nishinoya had felt like his soulmate’s nervousness was an inconvenience; however, he was starting to get really worried. Personally.

What was happening to his soulmate to make him feel so _scared_ all of the time? It never let up. Whoever was on the other side of Nishinoya’s heartstrings either didn’t know how to relax or _couldn’t_ relax.

His teacher turned around from the black board. “... and so we would use cosine,” he explained. Nishinoya blinked. He hadn’t caught _any_ of that. “Any questions?” Nishinoya raised his hand. He tried not to let it get to him when his teacher’s shoulders slumped in exhaustion at just the mere sight of his raised hand. “Yes, Nishinoya-san?”

Nishinoya didn’t bother to even try to look guilty. “Um, yeah. I didn’t get like... any of that? Can you explain it again?” he asked.

His teacher sighed and turned back to the blackboard, only for Nishinoya to tune him out again.

There wasn’t a clear explanation for how soulmate links worked, but scientists there were theories about why.

The most accepted theory had to do with survival and natural selection. It was a natural advantage for monogamous creatures like humans to be able to save their soulmates from danger. To do so, soulmates had to instinctually know when their partners needed them; hence, emotions became linked through natural selection. Couples with the link were more likely to reproduce and reproduce more often, passing on their genes.

There were also theories about how soulmates were selected. Many believed it had more to do with proximity than common interest. It would explain why the majority of soulmates found each other in high school and why some couples were more opposite than similar.

Nishinoya didn’t care much about that. He was more concerned about his soulmate’s safety.

It wasn’t often that Nishinoya felt scared. The way his soulmate was feeling... Nishinoya could only compare it to the moment before his mom accidentally ran a red light and a mini van t-boned their sedan. It was like he could see everything happening in slow motion; there was something _huge_ coming towards him and it was going to _hurt._

But unlike the car accident, there was no impact. The anxiety just kept building and building. Nishinoya couldn’t figure out what kind of situation would leave his soulmate feeling so high strung all the time. Maybe they were being held hostage. Maybe they were in hiding, like the witness protection program. Maybe they were older and working as an undercover cop, or maybe they were in the military and fighting in some war overseas-

“Nishinoya-san, are you even paying attention?” his teacher asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Nishinoya winced. “Honestly? No.”

His teacher looked exasperated. “But I’m re-explaining this for _you_.”

“Whoops?”

* * *

It’s during a particular grueling volleyball practice that Nishinoya breaks down.

They’re playing a scrimmage: underclassmen vs. upperclassmen. Nishinoya’s team is losing dismally. Asahi can’t get past the third years’ blocks, and while Nishinoya and Daichi keep receiving steadily, their efforts weren’t getting them anywhere.

Meanwhile, Nishinoya could feel his soulmate growing panicked. It was usually dizzying to play volleyball while his soulmate was so stressed –the adrenaline mixed with his soulmate’s nerves were too much- but as Suga set up another ball for Asahi, Nishinoya suddenly felt so terrified his vision blurred.

Nishinoya fell to one knee. His heart was beating so fast, he couldn’t feel the constant pull of his soulmate.

“Yū!” Tanaka exclaimed. He was at his side in a second, slipping an arm around his waist and trying to help him up. “Are you okay?”

“ _No_ ,” Nishinoya squeaked out.

His heart felt like it was slamming up against his ribs. It was beating so fast, he couldn’t separate his anxiety from his soulmate’s.

His legs were weak beneath him, and Tanaka sat him down on the bench. He was vaguely aware of the team gathering around him, but the only thing he could focus on was controlling his breathing. “Nishinoya?” Tanaka asked, “What’s happening?”

Nishinoya squeezed his eyes closed. “I don’t... I don’t... _know?”_ he squeaked.

“I think he’s having a panic attack.”

“Oh, I _know_ he’s having a panic attack.”

“What’s going on?”

Daichi’s voice cut through all of the others. “Noya is it your soulmate?” he asked, kneeling by his hip. All Nishinoya could manage was a shrug. He was too busy hyperventilating. Daichi seemed worried, but Nishinoya was glad that he was taking charge of the situation. It was relieving to have Daichi in control. “Where is Asahi? He knows how to handle this.”

Nishinoya’s eyes flickered between his teammate’s faces. Asahi was pushed out of the crowd. He looked nervous; maybe almost as nervous as Nishinoya felt.

Nishinoya’s anxiety spiked again.

“I don’t know how much help I’ll be,” he said uncertainly.

“But you get panic attacks all the time,” Daichi said. “And you get counseling for it. Don’t you know some ways to deal with it? Like... Like... I don’t know, like-“

“Like breathing techniques?” Suga cut in helpfully.

Asahi wrung his hands together. “I don’t, um...” He wavered in place. Nishinoya, meanwhile, was impatient. He gasped, wheezing to get air in, and the sound seemed to spur Asahi into action. “Well, okay, maybe I know something,” he admitted, nudging Daichi out of the way. He knelt by Nishinoya’s side. “Um... Noya, try... try breathing, like, in for three, hold for three, out for three, okay?” he said.

His hand rested on Nishinoya’s knee, while he counted. Nishinoya did his best to follow his instructions. _In, two, three. Hold, two, three. Out, two, three._ His breathing evened out slowly.

As his initial panic dispelled, however, Nishinoya thought about his soulmate. They had been _so scared._ They seemed calmer now: their sluggish heartbeat was helping to slow down his own.

He pressed his palms into his eyes. “What the _fuck_?” he swore, his body shaking.

“You’re okay, Noya, don’t worry,” Asahi promised, rubbing his back to the rhythm of his breathing. _Up, two, three. Hold, two, three. Down, two, three._ “You’re going to be all right.”

Nishinoya doubled over, hiding his face between his knees. Asahi’s hand didn’t move from his back. Maybe he would be all right, but there was no telling what his soulmate was going through.

* * *

Nishinoya and his soulmate both end up having rather high anxiety for the rest of the day.

Nishinoya felt out of control. He glared up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He had been trying to fall asleep for the past hour, but no matter how cozy his blankets were and no matter how soft his mattress was, he couldn’t fall asleep.

“Ugh, Yū, quit rolling around. Some of us are trying to _sleep_ ,” his brother complained.

Nishinoya threw a pillow at his brother -Toshi’s- bed. “How about some sympathy for your onii-san?” he demanded.

Toshi squealed when Noya’s pillow smacked the side of his head. He recovered _fast_ , though. Fast enough to almost catch Nishinoya off guard when he threw the pillow back at him.

 _Almost_.

Nishinoya caught the pillow in one hand. “You’re a menace,” he complained, but honestly, his heart wasn’t in it. He felt too nervous to argue with Toshi the way he usually would. Plus, he did feel guilty for keeping Toshi awake every night. He was still growing too, after all; he needed his sleep.

Before Toshi could complain about the noise he was making again, he grabbed one of his blankets and slipped out of the bedroom. He slipped out onto their apartment’s balcony, blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

Nishinoya stared down at the street below. There weren’t any cars; there was nothing to distract him. He pulled out his cellphone and flipped through his contacts. Maybe talking to someone would help. He knew that most problems got better with talking.

He scrolled to Tanaka’s name and almost pressed the call button, but something stopped him. He flicked up to the top of the list.

_Azumane Asahi_

He bit his bottom lip. Would Asahi even be awake? Would he bother to pick up? They had been getting to be better and better friends in volleyball practice, but Nishinoya didn’t think of him as a best friend, like he did Tanaka.

Still, though. Out of all the people in the world, right now Nishinoya wanted to talk to Asahi the most.

He tapped the call button and pressed his phone close to his ear. He closed his eyes as the phone rang, body shaking either from the cold or from the second hand anxiety.

Asahi picked up on the first ring.

“Hello? Nishinoya?”

Nishinoya bit his bottom lip. This had been stupid. Already, his anxiety was dissipating. However, something told him that being on the phone with Asahi was what was calming him down, it wasn’t his heart operating on it’s own. “Um, yeah, it’s me.” He paused. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Asahi replied.

Nishinoya scrubbed his nose. “I didn’t wake you up, right? You were already awake?”

“You’re fine, I was up,” Asahi replied. “Are you okay? You’re normally not up this late, are you?”

“Not normally,” Nishinoya answered. “I’m feeling gross.”

“Gross?”

“Like soulmate gross,” Nishinoya explained.

“Ah,” Asahi said.

Nishinoya fumbled with the edge of his blanket, twisting and untwisting the he between his blankets. “It’s just like... you were really good earlier today, you know? You helped with the whole, like... breathing thing,” he explained. “And I wanted to call you because... Well... I don’t know, I just-“

“Thought it might help?” Asahi asked, trying to fill in the blank.

Nishinoya nodded meekly before remembering Asahi couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he said. “I don’t know. I’m sorry if I’m keeping you, you can hang up.”

Asahi laughed over the line. “Since when do you apologize for anything?” he asked.

Nishinoya frowned. Normally, he would laugh too, but he was too strung out to find the humor in anything lately. “Since this whole soulmate thing got out of hand,” he said irritably. “I’m not crazy, right? Like... Like when you turned sixteen, it wasn’t this bad for you, was it?” he asked.

Asahi hummed. “No,” he admitted. “My soulmate never gets nervous. I mean... lately he’s been off, but I can’t remember him ever feeling worried until recently.”

Nishinoya frowned. “He?” he asked.

“What? Oh, um... yeah. I don’t know for sure, but I think my soulmate is probably a ‘he,’” Asahi replied. He seemed flustered, but Nishinoya’s soulmate seemed anxious, too, and it made it hard to focus on Asahi. “Is that weird?”

“No,” Nishinoya gritted out. He felt tears well up in his eyes. This was just so _frustrating._ “No, it’s not weird. I’m sorry, I’m just... Asahi, this is _crazy._ It’s crazy that someone can feel this way all of the time.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Asahi said quickly. “ _I’m_ sorry that you feel so bad.”

“If I’m not allowed to be sorry, you’re not allowed to be sorry,” Nishinoya replied, closing his eyes and willing himself to take deep breaths like Asahi had taught him earlier. It helped a little bit. “I’m just _worried_ , you know? Like what if they’ve been kidnapped? Or what if they’ve been buried alive, and the only thing keeping them from suffocating is a tiny little tube sticking out of the ground? Or what if they’re really sick, and they’re on their death bed, and I don’t get to meet them until the moment before they die, and we don’t even get to _know_ each other, and they’re gone, and-“

“Ah, Nishinoya, that’s what my counselor calls ‘spiraling,’” Asahi interrupted. “I’m sure your soulmate is fine. It sounds like they just have anxiety.”

Nishinoya made a whining noise. “You don’t get it, they feel awful _all of the time._ I think they’re in danger.”

Asahi hummed in acknowledgement. Nishinoya blinked, surprised by how deep Asahi’s voice was. It was gravelly with the late hour, and something about it was soothing, even though Nishinoya’s shoulders were still shaking. “Okay, I hear you. I hope you find them soon. They could probably use someone brave like you.”

“Asahi,” Nishinoya choked. “I don’t feel brave.” His body was trembling like a leaf.

“But you are,” Asahi promised. “Anyone who can take on that kind of stress is brave, Noya. You and your soulmate are probably going to be a really tough couple.”

“I don’t know,” Nishinoya whimpered. God, he hated crying. He was already so short; he felt like a baby whenever he got upset like this. “I just... I don’t want to talk about it. Can we talk about something else?” he asked. He winced at how weak his voice sounded.

“Sure,” Asahi agreed. “Why don’t you tell me about Toshi. He’s usually doing funny stuff, right?” he asked.

Nishinoya snorted. “Yeah, but lately he’s been a brat,” he said through his chattering teeth. “He yelled at me for keeping him up. Like it’s _my_ fault my soulmate is on the brink of death. And then he threw a pillow at me!”

Asahi laughed. “I’m sure that wasn’t unprovoked though, was it?”

“Does it matter?” Nishinoya asked indignantly, but he wasn’t really mad. Actually, talking to Asahi had him feeling the best he had in weeks.

* * *

Nishinoya scrubbed at his eyes. He was _exhausted._ After about ten minutes of talking to Asahi, he had felt totally fine. His soulmate had either felt safe for once or had fallen asleep because their anxiety had barely felt like a murmur in Nishinoya’s chest.

But even though Nishinoya had felt fine, he had talked to Asahi for hours. It had been comfortable, both the conversation and his spot curled up on the balcony. He hadn’t wanted the phone call to end, and now he was paying the price.

“You look like shit,” Tanaka said when he stumbled into the clubroom. Nishinoya shrugged, and Asahi staggered through the door a moment later. “You look like shit, too,” Tanaka said, peering at Asahi skeptically. “Was there some movie marathon on last night that I didn’t know about? Why is everyone so tired?” he asked.

Nishinoya looked up at Asahi, their eyes meeting. Asahi shared a small smile with him. “Nah, just had trouble falling asleep last night,” he said passively.

“Same,” Nishinoya agreed, smirking knowingly at Asahi as he passed by to put his gym bag on the shelf. His eyes lingered as Asahi pulled his longer pieces of hair up into a high bun. His gaze was practically glued to the loose tendrils curling at the nape of his next.

“Whatever,” Tanaka said. “Hey, Yū, wanna practice some receives before warm up?”

Nishinoya blinked. “Ah, sure,” he agreed. He crammed his feet into his shoes, the heels folding beneath him. “See you in a second, Asahi?” he asked, double checking for some reason.

“See you in a second,” Asahi promised.

Nishinoya nodded, a weird sense of relief filling him. He followed Tanaka down to the gym. He was exhausted, but for once, he wasn’t anxious, and that made all the difference in the world.

* * *

Nishinoya still couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried, his mind wouldn’t quiet down. At this point, he had no idea whose fault it was. Maybe it was his soulmate’s for feeling so nervous, but frankly, Nishinoya was starting to think he was panicking independently.

He was _so scared_ for his soulmate. Every part of him ached to track them down and save them from whatever was scaring them so badly. He felt helpless. He could only feel his soulmate’s pain; he couldn’t do anything to save them.

Even when Nishinoya did manage to fall asleep, it was restless and he woke up a few hours later.

When he woke up at 5 am, the familiar quick pulse of his soulmate’s heart urging his own to speed up, he didn’t even try to fight it. There was no point in lying around, waiting for the extra hour of sleep that would never come. Instead, he got up and threw on some clothes.

Without anywhere to go, Nishinoya jogged to the gym. He knew it would be locked, but the off chance that a third-year had come early for some extra practice was enough to lure him in.

When he got to the gym it was unsurprisingly empty. However, there was a light on in the clubroom. “Hello?” Nishinoya called, opening the door slowly.

His heart jumped in his chest when he nearly bumped into Asahi.

“Ah! Sorry!” he yelped, trying to gather his wits about him. Geez, he hadn’t been a jumpy person before linking with his soulmate.

“Oh, Noya, it’s just you,” Asahi said, hand over his heart. Nishinoya was holding a hand to his chest, too. “You scared me.”

“No, _you_ scared _me_ ,” Nishinoya corrected. “What are you doing here so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Asahi said. Nishinoya quirked an eyebrow, and Asahi held his hands up innocently. “No, really this time. I just woke up and figured there was no point in staying in bed.”

Nishinoya brightened at Asahi’s explanation. “Really? Same!”

Asahi crinkled his nose. “Are you messing with me, or...?”

“No, actually, I woke up early so I figured I’d head here,” he said honestly. “You wouldn’t happen to have the key, would you? I’d love to try to receive some of your serves if, like, you were up for that.”

Asahi didn’t answer. Instead, he just pulled the key out of his pocket, and Nishinoya jumped up in excitement.

“Awesome! Do you wanna practice? Do you mind? Only a couple, okay? It’ll be fun, I promise,” he said, pulling on Asahi’s arm before he could even answer.

“Um, it’s a little early, but sure,” he agreed. He didn’t try to fight Nishinoya as he tugged him along. He let Nishinoya pull on his arm, and somewhere in the back of Nishinoya’s mind he registered how warm and dark Asahi’s skin was. He knew most people thought pale was more beautiful, but Nishinoya had always preferred tan skin.

“Don’t worry, just a couple balls, okay? I’m grateful for anything you’re willing to throw at me,” he promised.

They made quick work of putting up the net; although, Asahi did most of the work. Nishinoya was too short to thread the top of the net. By 6:15, Asahi needed a break.

“Sorry,” he apologized, rolling out his shoulder.

“Hey, no apologizing. We both agreed,” Nishinoya said.

Asahi scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Right,” he said. Nishinoya followed after him like a duckling as Asahi went to sit up against the wall. His shoulder really seemed to be bothering him, if the way he was kneading into it with his fingertips had anything to say about it. “I think maybe I overdid it.”

Nishinoya looked down at his bruised elbows. “Same,” he admitted. “But it was worth it.”

Asahi’s eyebrows crinkled together. “Um.”

“I liked playing with you, Asahi,” Nishinoya said. For once, his soulmate seemed relaxed. Just being in a good mood for once was enough to cut through his exhaustion. “We should do this more often. It seems like we both can’t sleep, huh? It would be good to spend more time together. I like being with you.”

Asahi seemed confused for a moment, but when Nishinoya’s smile didn’t waver, his features smoothed out. “I like being with you, too, Nishinoya,” he promised.

Nishinoya’s smile only grew wider. He opened his mouth, about to say something else, when the gym door flew open. “Oi. What are you two kids doing here?” the janitor asked, glaring at them.

Nishinoya jumped away from Asahi, all of a sudden noticing the hand he had on the other boy’s knee. “Ah, we’re just here for some early morning practice, sir. We’re part of the volleyball club,” he explained, rubbing his chest when his soulmate’s anxiety sparked back up.

“What are your names?”

“Nishinoya Yü and Azumane Asahi, sir.”

The janitor glared. “Okay... Well tell your club to make sure you don’t leave any volleyballs out when you clean up. I keep having to pick them up when I come to polish the floors.”

“Hai,” Nishinoya agreed, bowing as the janitor left. He turned back to Asahi. “Are you okay to keep going, or...?”

Asahi frowned. Now that Nishinoya was looking at him, he seemed overwhelmed. “Actually, maybe we should clean up. The rest of the team will be getting here soon,” he said.

Nishinoya frowned. Something about Asahi’s tone was off. “Okay,” he agreed. Maybe if his soulmate wasn’t panicking so much, he would try to argue, but as it was, he was just as flustered as Asahi seemed to be. He followed Asahi’s lead as he started to pick up volleyballs, but Nishinoya had never done well with silence, especially awkward tense silence.

On impulse, Nishinoya threw a volleyball at Asahi’s head.

“ _Noya_ ,” Asahi groaned. He sounded exhausted.

He threw a _second_ volleyball at Asahi’s head.

“Noya!” Asahi complained, this time a little sharper. Nishinoya only smirked at him, but his eyes widened when Asahi mimed pelting Nishinoya with the volleyball he was carrying.

“No fair, you’re stronger!” Nishinoya yelped, but Asahi threw the ball at him anyway. It hit Nishinoya’s shoulder, wiping off to the side. Nishinoya ran to catch it. The second it landed in his hands, he threw it back at Asahi’s face. “Wait until I tell Daichi that you threw a volleyball at a first year,” he said.

Asahi caught the ball he threw at him. “I was _provoked_. You _provoke_ people,” he said, sounding vaguely reminiscent of their last phone call.

“Do not!” Nishinoya yelped, throwing another ball at Asahi. Asahi dodged this one and raised a pointed eyebrow at him.

Whatever awkward atmosphere had been between them before was gone now. Nishinoya decided to further bother Asahi by sneaking balls out of the ball cart whenever he wasn’t looking. Asahi groaned about how many volleyballs there were to pick up for a good ten minutes before realizing what Nishinoya was doing.

“It’s like you’re _trying_ to wear me out,” he complained.

Nishinoya laughed and snuck another ball out of the cart. Asahi’s expression darkened and before Nishinoya could make to run away, he threw him over one shoulder. Nishinoya kicked his feet. “Put me down!” he yelped.

“Not until I finish cleaning up,” Asahi said, supporting him with one arm as he bent down to pick up the last few balls.

“Put me _down!”_ Nishinoya said again, squirming to try to get out of Asahi’s hold. He was still trying to break free when the third years came in to the gym. Asahi dropped him like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

Nishinoya took the opportunity to jump onto Asahi’s back. Asahi might be done holding him hostage, but he certainly wasn’t done carrying him.

* * *

“Hey, buddy, are you okay?” Tanaka asked, slinging an arm around Nishinoya’s shoulders.

Nishinoya subconsciously slumped against him. “I’m just tired, man,” he admitted. He didn’t know how his soulmate did it. Somehow, Nishinoya knew they were awake, that they weren’t nervous in their sleep. Either his soulmate was better at running on only a few hours of sleep or they were walking zombies throughout the day.

Nishinoya was a zombie. He could hardly keep his eyes open. His legs felt heavy as he walked, like he was moving through a swamp, and his arms were like leaded weights on either side.

“Yeah... And you’re looking gaunt, man. It’s not a good look,” Tanaka said. Usually, Nishinoya would punch him for insulting his appearance, but he could hear the concern in Tanaka’s voice. He must really look awful.

“Eating is hard.”

Tanaka frowned. “You’re _that_ stressed?” he asked.

Nishinoya nodded. He closed his eyes for a moment. He knew that Coach Ukai would have them doing laps again soon –they only had a three minute break between circuits- but he was too tired to do anything but lean against Tanaka. “Ryū, something is wrong, I just know it. He’s in danger, or he’s sick, or he’s in hiding... He’s not safe.”

“He?” Tanaka asked, and Nishinoya blinked.

“I... Yeah,” he said, remembering his conversation with Asahi. “I think my soulmate is a guy.”

“A guy who is on the brink of death?”

Nishinoya shoved Tanaka with the last of his remaining energy. “Yeah,” he said, nose crinkling in annoyance. Maybe it was just how difficult practice was, or maybe it was the steady anxiety his soulmate had been throwing at him since day one, but Nishinoya’s nose started to run. His eyes welled up with tears. “Fuck, I’m so worried.”

Tanaka’s frown only deepened. He ruffled Nishinoya’s hair, being careful not to disturb the gel too much.

The moment ended when Coach Ukai called them back to their circuits. Six laps, 50 sit ups, 25 burpees, and 25 push ups. For such an old man, he didn’t cut them any slack when it came to conditioning. Nishinoya’s body felt numb as he did his best to keep up with the rest of the team.

His soulmate’s anxiety is there throughout practice, but it’s not crippling. It isn’t until their scrimmage that Nishinoya really feels them start to panic.

Nishinoya’s team is winning. It’s first years versus second years, while the third years give critiques from the sidelines. It’s distracting to have so many different voices telling you what you’re doing wrong, but at this point, Nishinoya is used to playing under pressure.

He would have been fine, if it weren’t for his soulmate steadily feeling more and more nervous. By the time they were on the second set, Nishinoya’s heart felt like it was about to explode out of his chest.

And honestly, Asahi looked out of it, too. Maybe it was because they had been spending more time together lately, but Nishinoya couldn’t keep his eyes off of Asahi lately. As the scrimmage wore on, Asahi had looked more and more distressed.

Nishinoya rubbed at his chest in confusion, his eyes stinging with tears that weren’t his own.

Nishinoya watched as Asahi rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms.

_Wait-_

The ball came whizzing towards Nishinoya, and he had to quickly dive for a rolling receive to save it. Kinoshita set the ball up for Narita, who managed to spike freely, but Daichi received it with no issue. Nishinoya jumped back to his toes, ready to dive again if he needed to.

Suga set up the ball and Asahi jumped for it, but Nishinoya could see the confidence leave his body mid air. Nishinoya felt his own shoulders sag with him. Asahi’s fingers missed contact with the ball, and it flew over to the side of the gym, bouncing off the floor.

“Asahi, keep your eye on the ball next time.”

“You got this Asahi, next time swing with your left if your right misses!”

“Try to see where Suga’s setting ahead of time, Asahi!”

The third years weren’t being mean with their comments, but for some reason, Nishinoya wanted to scream at everyone until they shut up. Asahi, meanwhile, looked like he wanted nothing more than to let the ground swallow him whole.

Asahi’s shoulders curl inwards on themselves, and Nishinoya folds inwards on himself at the same time.

His eyes widen in realization.

Before he could say anything, another spike sounded from the other side of the net. Instinct made Nishinoya dive for it, despite the anxiety flooding his system and the shock rendering his limbs near useless. The ball just missed his fingertips.

_Fuck._

* * *

Asahi seemed anxious to get out of the gym, but he was nowhere near as anxious to leave as Nishinoya was to talk to him.

Nishinoya ripped his sweaty practice clothes off. He crammed them into his bag, not caring if they ended up a wrinkled mess. He pulled on a shirt and shorts. He left his jacket in a ball in his gym bag, and ran after Asahi in just his socks, no shoes.

“Hey!” Nishinoya shouted, catching Asahi by the arm.

Asahi turned around, startled. Nishinoya could see tears brewing in his eyes, and that settled it. He could feel his soulmate’s surprise; he could feel his crushing sadness. His nerves.

Meanwhile, Nishinoya felt _angry._

“It’s you? God, all this time it’s been _you?”_

Asahi looked terrified. “Um, what?”

“I can’t believe it was _you_. I thought you were _dying.”_

Asahi squirmed. “Nishinoya, I’m sorry, but can this wait? I’m not feeling so good, and you’re actually crushing my arm, so if you could just-“

“ _Fuck_ you, Asahi,” Nishinoya spat, ignoring him. “You- God, I was so _worried._ All this time, I was staying up late terrified that my soulmate was _dying,_ and you’ve been here _perfectly_ fine! Are you _stupid?_ How could you make me feel like that? You had me so _scared.”_

Asahi looked hopelessly lost. His mouth gaped open and shut like a fish. Nishinoya dropped his arm (or more like threw his arm away from him) and glared at Asahi, trying to channel all of his energy into how angry he was.

Asahi gripped at the front of his t-shirt in surprise. “Wait, you- you...” he stammered. He looked frantically between himself and Nishinoya. “Your-“

Nishinoya didn’t bother answering. Instead he blew past Asahi, absolutely furious. And he knew –he _knew-_ that his anger was groundless, he knew this was just his temper getting the best of him again. But after weeks of feeling terrified at every waking moment of the day, he couldn’t help but let out all of his frustration at once, now that he was relieved enough to feel something other than scared.

When Nishinoya got home he slammed the door to his bedroom closed. He locked out Toshi. He ignored Asahi’s anxiety blossoming everything in his chest, doing everything he could to be the one in charge of their shared emotions for a change. Nishinoya was _angry._

And he wanted Asahi to be angry, too.

* * *

Being angry works for about two hours.

Asahi’s anxiety is too great to fight off for long. Maybe if Nishinoya wasn’t the one directly causing Asahi’s anxiety, he would be able to win out and go to bed mad.

But Asahi was obviously in a tailspin. A bad practice and an angry soulmate? It was a lethal combination, and Nishinoya did feel guilty.

However, it was hard to feel his guilt under everything Asahi was feeling. Nishinoya was _suffocating_ under the fear, the sorrow, the heartbreak... He didn’t know how Asahi was still breathing. He didn’t know how _he_ was still breathing.

“ _Fuck_.”

“Yū-chan, _shut up_ , you’re always so loud at night,” Toshi complained sitting up in bed. He stilled, though, when he saw the tight ball Nishinoya had curled himself into. “Hey, wait, are you- Are you _crying?_ ”

“ _You_ shut up, Toshi,” Nishinoya complained, his voice wet as he spoke into his pillow.

“You _are_ crying,” Toshi gasped. He jumped out of bed, and Nishinoya’s mattress dipped as Toshi sat by his side. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you sick?”

Nishinoya’s pillow was damp with his tears and snot. “I’m not sick,” he said, his voice high pitched with emotion. He felt so weak. He felt so vulnerable. He felt so _small._

Toshi squirmed by his side. “You’re crying,” he said again. He sounded shocked. “Like not funny crying, _really_ crying. What am I supposed to do?”

Nishinoya bit his bottom lip. Honestly, there was only one way to feel better, and it involved a massive apology. “Just get me my phone,” Nishinoya said, holding out a hand expectantly. Toshi shoved it into his hand a moment later, and Nishinoya opened it up blindly. He peeked out one red-rimmed eye to look for Asahi’s name in his contacts.

Asahi didn’t pick up the phone.

“Come on,” Nishinoya begged, calling again.

Maybe Asahi felt how nervous and needy he was and took pity on him, or maybe he just hadn’t looked at the caller ID. Either way, he picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Asahi,” Nishinoya squeaked out.

Asahi sighed. Nishinoya could hear the tears in his throat, and his heart ached for both of them. “What?” he asked. He sounded tired.

“Asahi... Asahi, I’m _sorry._ ”

“Yeah, I know,” Asahi puffed out. He didn’t seem like he cared. “ _Apparently,_ we’re soulmates, so we’re linked. I can _feel_ you. I can _feel_ that you’re guilty,” he said, words surprisingly biting. Maybe Nishinoya’s anger had affected him more than he had thought, but he wasn’t feeling angry now.

“And I can feel that you’re sad.”

“Nishinoya,” Asahi said, his name coming out like a swear. “Why did you even call me?”

Nishinoya bit his bottom lip. He had called so Asahi would forgive him, but more than that. Feeling this much stress, being this tired, staying up night after night... Asahi wouldn’t put himself through this purposefully. He couldn’t help his anxiety. He was doing everything he could to change it –he was going to counseling- but he still felt awful, and that wasn’t his fault.

“I... Well, we’re soulmates,” he blurted out. “And I was mad because... because, I don’t know, I was overwhelmed. But you’re my soulmate, and you don’t _feel good._ Like, _ever_. And I hate that.”

Asahi scoffed, but it was more self-deprecating than anything else. “Yeah, you made that perfectly clear.”

Nishinoya shook his head. He threaded his fingers through his hair, ignoring Toshi’s worried expression. “But I don’t hate _you,_ Asahi. And I don’t hate you for feeling that way, even if I made it seem like I did, you know? You can’t help it, just like I can’t help when it rubs off on me, and... and... And we’re _soulmates._ ”

Asahi sighed. “You said that.”

“Well, we are,” Nishinoya said. Asahi didn’t sound like he was anywhere close to forgiving him, but the flutter of hope he felt in his chest –a feeling that definitely wasn’t his own- cemented his feelings for him. Asahi was his soulmate. Asahi was his _soulmate._ “And I’m supposed to love you, and like... I do. I think. I mean... I mean, it’s still the beginning for us, I think, but... but...” He was having trouble sorting his thoughts. “Asahi if being with you means having to feel nervous most of the time, I think I would do it.”

Asahi didn’t say anything.

Nishinoya babbled on. “I was mad at first, and I yelled at you when it wasn’t your fault, but mostly I’m just happy you’re safe, Asahi. And I’m happy you’re _you_. I’m happy _it’s_ you. So I’m really sorry, I am, and... and I just hope you forgive me, you know? Please forgive me because... because this should have been a good thing, and I ruined it.”

“You did ruin it,” Asahi said. Nishinoya’s heart beat wildly, and he didn’t know who was making it speed up. “But... but that was a pretty good apology.”

“Yeah?” Nishinoya asked, not daring to hope.

“Yeah,” Asahi agreed. “I’ll... I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Face to face.”

“Okay,” Nishinoya said, trying not to deflate. Asahi hadn’t forgiven him.

Asahi hung up the phone without saying goodbye, and Nishinoya stared at his cellphone as the dial tone buzzed. Meanwhile, Toshi was peering down at him, looking slightly traumatized. “ _Asahi_ is your _soulmate?”_ Toshi asked. “He’s why you’ve been feeling so scared?”

Nishinoya curled up into a tighter ball. “I guess,” he said.

Toshi gasped and looked down at his toes. He kicked his feet for a minute, making the whole bed shake. “Well... Well, that’s good, right? He’s safe? So you can probably make him feel better really easily.”

Nishinoya quirked an eyebrow at his younger brother. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, it’s like... a two way street, right? Like, you can feel Asahi, but he can feel you, so if you try to feel super happy and confident while he’s feeling super nervous, then maybe you both can feel-“

“Better,” Nishinoya said, eyes widening in realization. He sat up straight in bed. He had only been feeding into Asahi’s anxiety, terrified that his soulmate was hurting somewhere he couldn’t reach. But now that he new Asahi was safe, he didn’t have to simply take on his anxiety. He could actively try to make him feel better. He could _help._ “Toshi, you’re a genius!” he exclaimed.

Nishinoya tackled Toshi with a hug and Toshi complained. “Hey, get off of me. It’s too late, I’m tired!” he whined, but Nishinoya hardly heard him. For the first time since sharing his emotions with Asahi, he felt hope personally.

* * *

The next day, Nishinoya could feel how anxious Asahi was to see him. However, he hadn’t let it affect him. He focused on feeling confident.

It wasn’t hard. He felt awful for yelling at Asahi, yes, and his shoulders were weighed down by guilt. But he was confident in himself, and he was confident with his future relationship with Asahi. They were soulmates; this would work itself out.

When he spotted Asahi coming over the hill he ran towards him. “Asahi!” he yelled, forgetting that it was half past five in the morning and that most people were still sleeping. He rushed up towards Asahi’s side. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

Asahi frowned. “Surprisingly, I’m all right,” he said, and Nishinoya grinned. His plan was working. “You seem happy. Ever since we ended our call last night.”

“Yeah, I talked to Toshi.”

“And?”

“And he said that if you could make me feel anxious, then maybe I could make you feel confident. Maybe I can help you more than I have been,” he said.

Asahi looked tired. “Nishinoya, you can’t just expect to fix my anxiety so easily,” he said.

“Well, it’s been working this morning, hasn’t it?” he asked, focusing on feeling as strong and confident as he could. He noticed Asahi’s spine straighten out slightly.

“I... Well, maybe,” he said slowly. He rolled his shoulders back, and Nishinoya smiled at him. However, Asahi’s mouth stayed set in a frown. “But it doesn’t matter. I haven’t even forgiven you yet.”

“But you will,” Nishinoya said, certain.

Asahi arched an eyebrow at him. “And how do you know that?” he asked.

“Because I know that I was an idiot,” he said. Asahi quirked a smile at that. “You don’t yell at someone for being scared, and I did. That was dumb. And also, I was right to be worried about you. Even if you weren’t about to die or get hurt, you weren’t feeling good, and that’s always enough reason to worry.”

Asahi hummed behind his hand, but Nishinoya could see his smile poking out either side. “Idiot is a pretty good word, but I’m not sure it’s strong enough...”

“Moron,” Nishinoya corrected. “Dumbass. Imbecile. Nincompoop. Simpleton.” He winced. “That’s all I got, I’m not really all that good at synonyms.”

Asahi lowered his hand, letting his smile show. “I think you’ve insulted yourself enough,” he said. His face fell a moment later. “But... but are you sure you don’t mind? Because I know this is... inconvenient,” he said, and Nishinoya felt Asahi’s painful insecurity wash over him. He fought to share his security with Asahi.

“I’m sure. I’m stubborn. I’m gonna help keep our chins up, okay? We’re going to get through it together,” he promised.

Asahi winced. “But like... Are you sure?”

Nishinoya huffed out a sigh and threaded his fingers with Asahi’s. He smiled up at him. “Honestly? I’m sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> I think that for every character's birthday (and by that, I mean every character that I care about) I'm going to write a soulmate AU one shot. 
> 
> So here is the second in the series, I guess? 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for reading!


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